im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
