physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
