im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my shit smells like andre
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
