Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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