Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
