i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
