Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
