hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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