I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
