how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
