Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
