Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
