we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
