I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
