do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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