he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
