That's intense
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
