If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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