i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
