found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
