i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
