dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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