I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
