allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
