I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
