he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
