I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
