He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
