FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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