I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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