I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
