I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no, he came in my armpit
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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