It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I believe in your delicious
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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