your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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