he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
