so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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