So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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