Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
