So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
