Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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