why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
