Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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