Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
