And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
