Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
