Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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