So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And then he peed in my hair
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