...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
