break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
