when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
